The Me Generation ...

I'm angry. If the entirety of my generation didn't need to hook up to the IV of XBox, Reality TV and whatever other form of voyeuristic escapism you can think of (and some I'm sure you haven't), they'd be pissed too. Unfortunately, NBC told all of them that it's "Must See TV!!!" tonight so they're all a little busy right now. I'll kindly speak on their behalf:

A huge source of frustration is that the problem is so all intrusive, so vast, so incomprehensible, that there is no single thing to blame. There is no specific person or event from which to trace the origins of our decline as a world society.

I'm here to change all that. I'm blaming it squarely on the Baby Boomers.

The Baby Boomer evolution is an interesting one. From America’s Golden Children, to Hippies, to cokehead corporate culture, to repentant tofu sucking, double espresso latte enema having gym rats, everything that they have done has been to extreme excess. By their very numbers, they are incapable of moderation. Baby Boomers truly are the giant mongo playing with the delicate toy and smashing it to pieces, not because they’re inherently evil, but because they’re too stupid to know any better.

Let’s take a closer look………….

Golden Children

Mutantly spawned from post war American celebration and hope, the Boomers are America's golden children. Little did they know that such benign beginnings would lead to an all out assault on future generations.

Hippies
The hippie movement is an interesting stitch in time. It was a paradigm shift in social consciousness. "Peace and Love, man." From a birds eye view, it all looked pretty damn good. They were going to change the world. That is, until they discovered one simple truth about man. He'll fuck it up. It doesn't matter what it is. Humanity en masse has zero intelligence and zero control.

This became painfully apparent when the love, peace and experimentation of the hippie generation spawned countless informal cultural experiments. Here they learned a valuable lesson. Any social situation with more than 4 or 5 participants could not be held together via a common value system for any length of time.

"Hey man if we can't hold this shit together with just me, Moonbeam, Star, Joe and Rhanivishnu, then how the hell is it going to work for 4 billion of us?"

Even the enlightened hippies couldn't figure this one out.

So what did the beautiful people do? They sold out. They got a clue, got jobs, got responsibility, got a piece of the American pie. On the surface there is nothing wrong with this. It would be a fine route for any other American generation. But....................

Sellouts
You see Baby Boomers don’t really know the concept of moderation too well. Everything they do is to extreme excess. So they took this remnant of the hippie hangover with them to their Wall Street offices and 5th Avenue penthouses. Same mindset, different forum.

Excess in the days of the hippies spawned experimentation, broadening horizons and cursing the man.

Excess in the days of the hippie sellout brought shattered lives, cocaine induced fashion, fast cars, big boats, junk bonds and bad credit.

The dark side of this generation's culture brought pounding headaches and the occasional overdose. For their encore, they turned this into insatiable greed and the beginning of the end for a civilization.

Let's look at the numbers as the ex-hippies came through the corporate ranks.

Nothing much happened through the 1970's as it takes a good decade for the mush-brained generation to recover and make any kind of a dent on the national economy. In striving for credibility they did, however, get their voter registration cards and elected two "winners" of American Presidential history.

The 1980's saw the explosion of pent up hippie excess. During this time, all the socialists became Capitalists and spent their money faster than the treasury could print it. Torpedoes be damned, they didn't care about any of the long term effects of their actions on future generations. The Baby Boomers by default aren't wired to give a shit about you or me. The overwhelming numbers of the baby boomer generation alone makes the concept of moderation a moot point.

Thank you smog, thank you gridlock, thank you dirty oceans, thank you acid rain, thank you faltering social security, thank you no pension, thank you no job security, thank you bloated real estate prices, thank you S+L bailout and thank you for a 13% rate of inflation the likes of which the world has never known. Tread lightly you fucks.

Respectable Sellouts
As the 1990's came and went, the Baby Boomers got exercise and religion. The sales meetings with pink noses and numb faces were traded for support meetings with haughty noses and faces begging for forgiveness from a 20th century God that has as much meaning to them as the ozone they just punched a hole through. Gyms chocked full of scheming husbands and unfulfilled wives popped up on every street corner. Every parking lot became overfilled with 9000 pound gas guzzling SUV’s, because they were "safe". TV changed from syndication to 24 hour a day infomercials for five minute flabby ass fixers. It’s all so typical, it would be quite funny if it weren’t so nauseating and all intrusive. Mongo no wanna work so Mongo escape reality, Mongo no like living on bus so Mongo go get money, Mongo no feel good, so Mongo get healthy. What a sick joke.

During their climb they did many great things. They introduced the concept of double income, so single men and women can no longer afford such luxuries as a roof over their head. As they became high executives and CEO's they increased their own pay by over 300% in a ten year span. The average wage earner's pay increased by about 49% (not a bad number itself) for the same 8 year boom. By the end, the CEO's of major American corporations were earning an average of 400 times that of the American working man. A far more ridiculous notion than that which these hypocrites were rebelling about 25 years prior. They created a disposable world and spawned a disposable latch-key generation raised by strangers. This is their legacy.

In their all consuming greed, we've become a gadget dependent, technology enslaved society. This along with the bloated salaries of executives skew the numbers for the Consumer Price Index and Inflation. The truth is my generation is deeper in debt, can't afford as much, and has countless other legacy issues levied by the sellouts.

I often hear Baby Boomers speaking poorly of their children. They say it's because my generation is lazy. In reality my generation is reeling in the wake of the Boomer’s disgusting display of human excess. I've got more kick than mescaline, more brains than you and more heart than any sellout could dream of. So tell me that being smart and giving 110% will bear untold fortune, just as it has for you. It will only increase my already respectable indignation. Your cluelessness knows no bounds. Your viewpoint is easily skewed from your lifelong relationship with having it your way. You've mercilessly beaten the American dream to it's death. All that's left for my generation is the burial.

Speaking of death, that will be the Baby Boomer's last fuck you to the world. The aging of the bloated generation will tax our already poorly managed (by the Baby Boomers) healthcare system forcing trillion dollar emergency government intervention, which of course, I'll have to repay. Then when they die, countless sectors of the economy will risk collapse due to rapid deflation. Healthcare, and real-estate come to mind, but I'm sure there are myriads of others.

The Baby Boomers really did change the world, just as they said they would. Now it's my generation's responsibility to pick up the pieces for their arrogance, selfishness and gluttonous stupidity.